Cuparia

Captain Scarlett (1953) is a run-of-the-mill swashbuckling yawn, excuse me, yarn set in 19th century France, but you will be forgiven if you quip, “A nice day for a fiesta in sunny Mexico” as you watch it. It was filmed in Mexico, and there was little, if anything, to suggest a French setting except place names. The story is an obviously hybridized bastardization of Robin Hood, the Scarlet Pimpernel, and — given the Mexican flavor of the costuming, architecture, and landscape — even Zorro. In short, Robin Hood, I mean Captain Scarlett, with the help of Friar Tuck, I mean Fray Felipe, I mean The Friar, frees a number of wronged people (including one Princess Maria) who become his band of merry men (or rather his band of one merry man and one woman who can allegedly pass as a merry man) as they rescue peasants from the guillotine, the toll road collector, and harassment by a couple of soldiers. The evil Alcalde, I mean Sheriff of Nottingham, I mean Duke de Corlaine tries every diabolical trick at his disposal to neutralize the destabilizing effect Captain Scarlett is supposedly having on the populace by neutralizing Captain Scarlett himself, but the wily swordsman is not such an easy pest to remove, and there is more than altruism to Scarlett’s motives, for it was the Duke who unlawfully deprived him of his land and led him to this life of highway robbery, adventure, camaraderie, etc. in the first place.

The plot is derivative, the dialogue is inept, and the acting causes irritation, discomfort, and drowsiness. Other symptoms may include disbelief, disapproval, and disdain. Attention paid to the action scenes WILL cause disappointment. Use only as advised: with the intent to mock.

• Writing: Terrible
• Directing: Terrible
• Acting: Terrible
• Cinematography: Terrible
• Stunts: Terrible
• Swordplay: Poor
• Panache: Mediocre

Overall Rating: Terrible
Swashbuckling Rank: Poor

What happens when a woman from Boston stows away on a ship that is captured by pirates? In Buccaneer’s Girl (1950), she sings and dances her way into everyone’s heart, especially the pirate captain’s, whilst guarding a secret that would rock her newly adopted home of New Orleans should it be discovered.

Yvonne De Carlo plays Deborah McCoy, the fearless, streetwise heroine whose life and fate become intertwined with the debonair buccaneer Frederic Baptiste played by Philip Friend. Baptiste is a humane and gallant pirate captain who inspires loyalty and respect. He is, in a word, a gentleman. McCoy, in contrast, is no lady. Any of the manners she displays were learned from Madame Brizar (Elsa Lanchester), the headmistress of a local school for women specializing in singing and dance instruction. Manners, for McCoy, are a means to an end, which, in her case, is a better life. Baptiste, on the other hand, is motivated by a sense of justice to commit crimes on the high seas, and the beneficiaries of his exploits are, as in the case of Robin Hood and Zorro, those who have been wronged by the rich and powerful.

There is, as a result, the mayhem of armed conflict and amorous conflict as different worlds collide, but in both instances the excitement is minimal. The combat scenes are bloodless, uneventful affairs, which is a fair description of the love scenes as well. The plot seems to be an excuse to give the lead actress some singing time in routines that are frankly more suited for a Bob Hope and Bing Crosby comedy than an historical action movie.

Buccaneer’s Girl is a semi-comedic, semi-romantic, semi-adventurous near musical with piratical trappings. To call it a swashbuckling movie would be to dilute the definition. It could charitably be called a romantic comedy, but more by virtue of the filmmakers’ intentions than by results. It may provide light entertainment or background noise for 77 minutes, but little more than that.

• Writing: Mediocre
• Directing: Fair
• Acting: Mediocre
• Cinematography: Fair
• Stunts: Mediocre
• Swordplay: Mediocre
• Panache: Mediocre

Overall Rating: Mediocre
Swashbuckling Rank: Mediocre

Against All Flags (1952) is a story of swashbuckling espionage set in Madagascar in the year 1700. Brian Hawke, played by Errol Flynn, is an officer in the Royal Navy whose mission is to infiltrate a fortified settlement of pirates who threaten trade in the Indian Ocean. Presenting himself as a deserter who now desires to join the pirates and sail “against all flags,” Hawke must allay suspicions that he is a spy as he attempts to learn the pirates’ defenses.

There are, however, complications, and foremost among them is the daughter of the Grand Mogul whom he saves from a burning ship and whose true identity he must conceal lest the pirates ransom her or worse, which would put at risk the life of every Englishman in India. Mistress Stevens is the other complication. Otherwise known as “Spitfire” (and played accordingly by Maureen O’Hara), Stevens is a strong-willed woman with her own ship, which entitles her to a place amongst the captains who rule the pirate port. Both women take an interest in Hawke and, well, that accounts for half the story.

There are many attempts throughout the film to convey the bravado, wit, and charm of Flynn’s classic swashbuckling forays, but it is merely superficial when there is no greater drama to support it. The importance of stopping the pirates is undermined by both the lack of commitment by the Royal Navy (one ship to destroy an entire fortified port?) and the buffoonery of its officers (of a kind more in keeping with Gilbert and Sullivan than with reality). The importance of defending the honor of the Grand Mogul’s daughter is rather compromised by the lighthearted portrayal of women being sold at auction as “lawful wedded wives” to pirates, one of whom asks upon purchasing his spouse, “Now that I got her, what does I do with her?” The importance of any serious aspect of the story whatsoever is utterly deflated by the stilted dialogue, the unconvincing sets, the freshly laundered costumes of nearly every ne’er-do-well inhabitant of the pirate port, and the clownish acting of every actor in the film with the exception, to a degree, of Flynn, O’Hara, and perhaps the two actors playing Hawke’s subordinates, Jones and Harris (Phil Tully and John Alderson).

Flynn seems obviously tired in this film, but O’Hara manages to infuse her role with as much subtlety and energy in the right places as the shallow writing will allow. Anthony Quinn, who plays Captain Brasiliano, the chief villain, plays his role as it was probably written: as a loud, cloddish bully. The worst performances belong to Bill Radovich as Hassan, the eunuch on the Grand Mogul’s ship (giving what appears to be an impersonation of Curly Joe Dorita), and Paul Newlan as Crop-ear, the pirate who doesn’t know what do with the “wife” he bought. They were undoubtedly intended as comic relief, but the only relief they provided was their absence.

At another time, with another writer, another director, another studio, and a change of almost the entire cast, Against All Flags might have been a good romantic adventure in the swashbuckling tradition. Instead, it is a lighthearted musical with only one song (a sea chantey sung by Flynn) performed as if by a local community theatre. Against All Flags is not entirely without its merits, but they are easier to observe if one’s expectations are low.

• Writing: Poor
• Directing: Mediocre
• Acting: Poor
• Cinematography: Fair
• Stunts: Fair
• Swordplay: Fair
• Panache: Fair

Overall Rating: Mediocre
Swashbuckling Rank: Fair