Cuparius.com

One month has elapsed since the Cuparium's last update, as I am sure all two of you have noticed. I meant to post sooner, but each time I tried to write I stared at my first two sentences and thought, "To Hell with it," and went off to read a book. It's better this way. So today I decided to dispense with the usual formalities and address topics randomly. I can do that. I have a cold.

I finished a book recently about an incident in U.S. naval history involving a training cruise in 1842 in which a mutiny was suppressed and the leaders (including the son of the Secretary of War) were executed on the high seas. The book is A Hanging Offense: The Strange Affair of the Warship Somers by Buckner F. Melton, Jr. It's a quick and interesting read, especially if you are interested in sailing ships.

Speaking of nautical matters, I forgot to celebrate Speak Like a Pirate Day last month. I wasn't well enough to enjoy it, though, even if I had remembered.

Whilst I am swimming around the subject, I might as well mention that the proper way to write a ship's name is in all capital letters, not italics. Thus, we would write of the brig-of-war SOMERS, not the brig-of-war Somers. 'Tis a wee annoyance that has remained with me since my humble days as a maritime Archival Specialist (or, rather, a glorified assistant in a work-study program at University). Still, I learned a bit.

My two favorite fabrics for clothing are wool and silk. Wool as in tweed three-piece suits and caps, clan tartan neckties, and the plaid in general. Silk as in silk three-piece suits, silk neckties in abstract designs, and silk dress shirts. I like felt hats, too, and panama hats, but for actual clothing give me wool or silk. Years ago I heard that one could buy tailored silk three-piece suits in Hong Kong at ridiculously low prices. "I must find a way to go to Hong Kong before China takes it over, " I said on more than one occassion. I'd have bought seven or fourteen suits. A different suit every day for a week or a fortnight, and then off to the dry cleaners. Ah, yes. Well, no. Too late. Och, well.

On Sunday night I saw the season premier of Law & Order: Criminal Intent. Still good (unlike the new season of Hack, which I will no longer watch), still untainted by a new Randy Newman theme song (unlike the new season of Monk, the credit sequence of which I must mute), still starring the original cast (unlike the new season of Starhunter, which replaced the entire cast except for one major role and one very minor role).

I can't recall if I have ever mentioned Starhunter here before. I'm too lazy to search through the archives so I'll just shrug and hope you don't get lost. Starhunter is a British and Canadian science fiction series that is shown in syndication in the States. Around here, it airs Monday mornings at 12:30 a.m. About half of the episodes are good and half are mediocre to bad. My favorite character is a girl genius/rebel/starship engineer named Percy who is played by Tanya Allen. She is the only major character to make it to the current season, and this would ordinarily be good, except that the new writer has apparently decided she should fade into the scenery and newer characters should dominate the storylines with cliché-ridden dialogue and wooden acting. It is as if the writer resents the presence of this fascinating character of the previous writer's imagination, so he's punishing her by having his own characters push her around and rendering her powerless to oppose them. To quote Rik Mayall in The Young Ones, "Oh, how BO-RING!" Which sums up the new season. Mind you, I've only seen the first two episodes, but I see where it's going.

One of the actors who was replaced is Murray Melvin, who played the starship's A.I. computer, Caravaggio. Instead, they are calling another actor Caravaggio, and it just isn't right. Murray also played Napoleon Bonaparte's biographer in the excellent film, The Emperor's New Clothes starring Ian Holm. Have I already mentioned seeing it? Let me check... No. It's the fictional story of Napoleon Bonaparte's escape from exile on the island of Saint Helena and his mission to restore the Empire and himself to the throne. Actually, it's about more than that, but that would be telling. Ian Holm is better known to many as Bilbo Baggins from the Lord of the Rings motion pictures by Peter Jackson.

Speaking of Jackson, I read yesterday that has signed on to co-write and direct a new King Kong film. Hm... I'll reserve judgment, since he's Peter Jackson...

Two films are now on DVD that I must buy: Bend It Like Beckham and A Mighty Wind. Nicole told me that the extra features included in the latter are superb. If you haven't seen them yet, rent them now!

I'm reading my first James Bond novel, which, incidently, is the first James Bond novel ever written. I'll discuss it in greater depth (or less shallowness) after I have finished. It isn't that it's long, but that I have very little free time. Damn that elusive will-o'-the-wisp known as a Modern Life of Leisure! Damn, I say! Damn!

I almost forgot to mention this. I have learned that Miramax is the U.S. distributor for Shaolin Soccer, and that they have been toying with various ideas for debasing the original film, such as bad English dubbing, changing the title to Kung Fu Soccer, cutting almost half an hour out of the film, and replacing the original score with remixes of the song "Kung Fu Fighting." What was that, Rik? Right: "Oh, how BO-RING!" (If you have never seen The Young Ones, that joke will be hopelessly lost on you. It occurred to me to reflect on that. Perhaps you had better rent some episodes so you will understand the context and maximize your enjoyment of this reference. Suffice it to say that Rik's verbal condemnation of all things boring tends to be done in a nearly (or totally) violent manner. It's hilarious.) What all of this means is that I have no interest whatsoever in seeing a version of this film in which Miramax has had its clumsy, hairy man-beast paws. There is, however, a Chinese DVD that is available now in Chinese with optional English subtitles, the original title, the original length, and the original music. That is the version I'm buying! So far, I've only seen it available through ChineseTapes.com. I've never dealt with them, so I can't offer testimonials. I'll mention other vendors selling the non-bastardized version when I learn of them.

Speaking of soccer, I saw the FIFA Women's World Cup match on Sunday. They were playing in Columbus, Ohio and the U.S. Team defeated the North Korean team 3:0. Hurrah! U.S.A. is currently ranked number one, followed by Norway at number two and Germany at number three. It would have been nice to attend, since I don't live too far from Columbus (about the same distance I drive to work), but I was ill and it was a sold-out stadium anyway. I noticed the previous U.S. match was in Portland, Oregon, my other erstwhile place of residence. I wonder if Laurie and Laura saw it...

Och, is it really a quarter to three in the morning? Time to sleep. I work tomorrow. And I still have a sore throat and congestion. Wish me luck. Getting sleepier. Typing slower. Sentences. Shorter. Snore...

I just remembered I have to do laundry early in the morning before I go to work. Where is my robot servant when I need it? I'd better not digress. Asimov can wait. Sleep cannot. Ta'ra.